Introduction

First of all, I would like to encourage the reading of this brief Diary especially by those who suffer from similar situations to those I report below and who are unsure about seeking help. A little over a year ago, I remember I was visiting Dr. Paulo Henrique Egydio’s site and I ran across information on an innovative technique he had developed that was a total success in treating Peyronie Disease. Best of all, I also found out this same technique was also applicable for correcting congenital penile curvature, something I feel comfortable about reporting today, after having suffered for many years with this problem.

The impact this had on my life, and most certainly the lives of all those who have the same problem, is obviously enormous. While still a teen, I did everything possible to avoid getting involved with a girl because I was afraid my problem would be revealed. After all, it would be very embarrassing to have a curved penis announced to the world. Even more complicated was listening to my friends telling about their first experiences and then imagining the tragedy it would be whenever it was my first time. Of course, because I "avoided" girls at that age, I did not escape mean comments. But I still ended up having my first experience at that time with a girl I had known at school. It was literally “torture”. It was not exactly traumatic, but definitely embarrassing and far from a pleasure for either of us. I swore I would never do that again.

Yet from that moment on, my torment would be repeated on other occasions. I involved myself with work and studies in order to fill my time and try to forget the suffering. No doubt, it was not the best alternative. At one company, I ended up liking a girl at work and I led her on. But then, I put my problem before my feelings. Result: she never learned the reason for my sudden rejection, since I had always made it clear I liked her. This went on until I decided to quit, just to get out of the situation. It was a very immature move. No one understood my decision since I was clearly growing professionally.

In reality, I admit I spent my last twenty years dodging the problem, slipping out of parties, avoiding dates and so on. I think I only had one actual girlfriend, when I was around 24, and she was comprehensive to the extreme. I met her at college. Since studies and work demanded so much of our time, I felt I could deal more easily with the situation. After a few months, it became impossible to continue hiding reality. I trusted her and we talked a lot. We tried to “adapt” and that lasted about two years. Deep down, she was the only person who ever encouraged me seek help.

Looking for help

For a long time, I used that excuse of “I think our friendship doesn’t allow me to do that”, in order to avoid situations that I, without realizing, was creating. I felt it was useless to go on that way because I had already hurt many people and it was exclusively my fault. I was 26 at the time and I decided to seek so-called medical help (I even thought it was psychological, but I was much more concerned about it being anatomical). I was greatly frustrated after telling the doctor I found at the time about my case and explaining the problems I suffered with my curved penis. He examined my organ while still flaccid and said there was nothing wrong. He advised me to only ask someone to take photos of my erect penis for one year and then go back to see him. I told him I had been born with the curved penis and did not understand the reason behind the photos. He did not explain a thing and just told me he wanted to accompany the “evolution” of this curvature. Well, he is probably still waiting for me to return with my photo album. I left more depressed than when I had entered.

Years later, when I was around 28, I looked up another professional outside of São Paulo while taking advantage of a vacation period. He didn’t suggest a one year photo session. He only asked if I had had sexual relations. When I said yes, he replied that was what it was like. He went on to say I should have grown accustomed by now, or sooner or later I would. I felt like asking him if I should feel a toothache, should I also grow accustomed to it. With yet another disappointment, I had decided to give up and continue filling my time at work and in studies, so I would have little time to worry about the problem. I did that for five years, with long stretches of abstinence.

By now I was already 33. I remember hearing about Dr. Paulo’s site by accident. I had entered a site I believed to be about a problem similar to mine (Peyronie). I read the content very carefully and saw how its technique was applied to cases like mine (congenital penile curvature). At the time, the Penile Curvature site was not on the air, but there was an explanation about the subject at “peyronie.com.br”. And so I decided to try out the virtual (e-mail) visit. I think I went ahead more as a venting of frustration after living such a monotonous life than actually believing I would get an answer. To my surprise, Dr. Paulo replied, explaining in a very objective manner the reason for the curvature, and saying there was indeed a solution for what I had described.

That made me very confident about setting up an appointment. I was able to personally tell him how this problem affected me. I felt like I was with someone I had known for a long time. Besides his exceptional qualifications as a doctor, I must also say that Dr. Paulo is an excellent listener. All of the difficulties I had had to open up came to an end right there in his office, due to his competence in listening attentively and respectively. After examining me, he explained all my doubts about his innovative technique and how the surgery would correct my curved penis. I left his office feeling like a new man because I had found someone who spoke my language, or better, who truly understood the problem.

The Surgery

In order to feel safer, I decided to not inform family members or work colleagues I was having the surgery. That’s why Dr. Paulo advised me to have it done on a weekend. I arrived at the hospital, as scheduled, at the end of the morning on a Saturday for normal admittance procedures. The surgery was set for the early afternoon that same day. It went so easily for me that I only remember Dr. Paulo’s voice after surgery saying everything had gone well. On Sunday, almost noon, he visited me. After instructing me about bandages and post-operative medication and then releasing me, it finally hit me that I had solved the problem that had been haunting me for so long. I drove back home the same way I had arrived at the hospital on Saturday. I stopped at a drugstore on the way just to buy the medication. I couldn't believe it was over.

First week

Except for the outright happiness written all over my face, my Monday was a normal day. I left home a little later because I was going straight to a meeting with a client near lunchtime. I had been operated on just two days ago and I could never have imagined I would be feeling so well. Following Dr. Paulo’s instructions, I returned to his office on Wednesday for an evaluation. Everything was in order. Until my "final liberation" (six weeks), I would go back to see him two or three more times. Since I had not shared this moment with any family member or friend, it was very important to talk about this new phase. I even told him about the first erection I had had involuntarily in the middle of the night and how happy I had been when I realized the result of the surgery.

One month later

Incredible how the first weeks began to make a difference in my day-to-day life. I began to think of everything I had avoided in the past; the girlfriends I didn’t have because I had been suffocating my feelings; the family I never built, even in thought; and a series of other things I didn’t do and that were no longer worth recalling. I can affirm with utmost certainty that my life, my real life, when you wake up in the morning with an enormous desire to embrace the world you love, began after that surgery. Absolutely simple situations, such as saying good morning to a work colleague, or kissing someone we dearly esteem, took on a very special meaning for me.

Three months later

From the first to the second month, when I was already “liberated” for action, I was able to get around the anxiety very well, something I had already experienced when trying to deal with the new. Although quite apprehensive, I began to feel more at ease with my new condition (or new life). I knew it would happen naturally. After all, I was no longer hiding, running away or going through those other situations I prefer to forget about. Maybe I can sum up what I felt that first time as “freedom”. I am going to plagiarize a famous composer to be more objective: “it is all a question of keeping your mind still, your spine straight and your heart calm.” Spine is not the exact word, but I think you get the idea.

Six months later

From the first month after surgery, I already noticed the benefit was not only physical. There is something called self-esteem that we being to rebuild little by little, but in a quick and perceptible manner. I enjoyed significant improvement in all my personal and professional relationships. Even some people I ran into after a long time were surprised by my good mood and how I reacted in face of certain situations. It isn’t hard to explain: I think before all my attention focused on my problem and on how unhappy I was for having penile curvature and the consequences thereof. Now totally free of that torment, my attention was directed towards my complete well-being and that of the people with whom I live and relate. Today I can say it is easy, but I am convinced it would not have been with the guidance of Dr. Paulo.

One year later